Dan ariely on dating sites
Ironically, the people we like the most often say the least.(Learn how to listen like a hostage negotiator here.)This is straight from Dale Carnegie and if you’re not that socially adept, this is as straightforward as it gets.Why struggle to guess what most people might find generically interesting? If you know about the subject the similarity will bond you.
We’re all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think we’re just fascinating.Women put more stock in the virtual dating world because they seek a soul mate, he said, whereas men are typically after a more casual relationship.It's not that familiarity always breeds contempt, the researchers say.The researchers suggest that inflated expectations can lead to major disappointments when daters meet in person. The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love Love is More Powerful than Sex Men and Women Really Do Think Differently Loss of Loved One Really Can Cause Broken Heart Altruistic Love Related to Happier Marriages Why Some Old Lovers Look Alike Fantasies vanishing with knowledge is a process that hits women harder than men, said Michael Norton of Harvard Business School and one of the study's authors.“On online dates, women are much, much more disappointed than men," Norton said.If not, maybe it’s time to end the story or ask the other person a question.(More rapport building techniques are here.)Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship and envy.
People love to talk about themselves and there are a dearth of good listeners. It gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money: You can make an excellent impression by saying amazingly little.
But on average, as you learn more about any lover, the less likely it is that you will click and get along with them, Norton explained.
Online dating 101 Norton and his colleagues, including Dan Ariely of MIT and Jeana Frost of Boston University, initiated the study with the help of online dating services like e Harmony and Match.com, though he refused to say which specific ones.
If I had to choose between two guys: one who makes $250,000 per year and was just “ok” looking, and the other who makes around $60,000 per year but was “hot”, I’d choose the guy with the cash. They recorded activity from 23,000 online daters during a three and a half month period and found that: “For men there is no amount of income that the woman in the bottom ten percent in terms of appearance can earn to make men prefer her over women in the top 10 percent.
This is the truth though according to a few researchers from University of Chicago and MIT who did a study to find out what factors drive communication between men and women.
Here’s the problem: we now know based on that study that if a guy makes over $250,000, a girl is most likely going to be more interested in him than a guy who makes a lot less, but is hotter.