Dating man going through divorce book
Men are usually the noncustodial parent after the divorce and can be especially concerned about their future relationship with their children.
Only a month after all this he is backing away, acting distant and telling me we need to sit down and have a long talk. He is closing up his old life and moving to a new life with you. I think that I am suffering from a bit of depression and it has affected how I am responding to his comments.I realise I am taking a risk on him by sticking with him, and I guess that if I want him then I have to, without even asking for much in return because anything that I might need in a relationship is put on hold while this divorce stuff goes on, and then I just wonder if I am just a fool. I also know that others in my situation can, like me, feel second best.I feel like Im in too deep already and I dont know which way to turn. I think it depends on different things, how he's handling the divorce emotionally, if he's ready to move on to a new relationship yet, how complicated the divorce is.If a support group is not enough, a man who just went through a divorce may need therapy.Therapy can help a man discover why he had conflict in the first place and can help him find ways to make meaningful changes in his life, Carl Allen Tippins, a Seattle therapist, says on the website of “Psychology Today.” Encourage the man you know to continue to see his children as much as possible.He says he needs his space and he is up and down with his emotions. Let him talk and let him settle his business and give him his space without pressure and guilt. I do indeed feel that he is backing out of the relationship --tonight when he texted me he used my first name and not the usual "sweetie". Take deep breaths and allow yourself to cry for awhile. If you take care of yourself, you will be stronger and can better handle what happens in the future.
I am deeply sadened and feel I've done something to cause him to want to end this relationship. I would think he is going through reality phase of a very difficult time. Lovingly give him his space and let him work his man thing out. We have hardly spoken since returning from a vacation that ended with him cancelling our valentines plans. For example, if he needs someone to talk to, he may just turn to you again. Well it has been a week since my relationship ended and I am still crying.
It takes time to get over a divorce, much less getting through one. I had been told he'd be divorced for over a year, when in fact he had just been separated a couple weeks. If I knew then what I know now, I would have told him to go away and call me in a year.
Lot's of things to work through that you don't want or need to be a part of. When I was going through my divorce my counselor said to wait to date a minimum for 6 months post divorce.
I am feeling less depressed and made it through the entire day without crying. Break-ups in general are stressful, for either party, but a divorce can impact far more than the emotions. Well I wish he would have said that 8 months ago and left out the parts where he said he loved me. We have decided that we will meet for coffee in a few weeks and see how it goes now that we are just friends. His words are shocking to say the least, I assume he has already moved on as well.
Divorces cost money, can cause stress when there are items, homes, and children involved. He is likely going through his own personal hell, right now, and he will need all the support he can get. I am really full of anxiety today and trying to hold it together. He now says he was caught up in the safety, lust and nuturing of our early relationship and that he does not love me and should not have said it. I am not interested in any other men and I really did love him, although I realize now that he could not have felt the same and changed his mind only 30 days later.
Stbxh and I don't have any issues, we're in 100% agreement with wanting a divorce and in complete agreement with a settlement.