Normal dating progression
It can be challenging to determine which stage you're in, but each stage of a relationship is an opportunity to explore compatibility and level of commitment.Whether you’re in a new relationship, building a more serious relationship, or in a long-term committed relationship, you should take time to assess where you and your partner are at.
People get caught up in the passion and wanting to please. Because your partner hasn’t had time to get to know or care about you, he or she may neglect to inform you about a sexually transmitted disease (STD), fail to take appropriate pregnancy and STD precautions, and/or even disappear after the act.Dinner dates, regular phone conversations and other forms of communication are necessary during Phase I.This is when you and your partner become infatuated with each other, and if all goes well, you move on to the next phase. Check off enough items and you’ve got a shot at a fulfilling relationship. When you get close enough to someone, everything changes. If you want to fulfill the quest, you’ll need to change the rules. They have the same feeling about you, that you’ve got something just for them. It will be your only opportunity to find out what you’re meant to discover together.You want a companion, a partner, someone to build a future with. The thin shell of your mundane existence cracks, and something magical trickles in. You might even need to start off acting as you would if you were already close, as if you’re already partners. How will you spend the few precious hours you have? Concerns like these are always buzzing around beneath the surface.These situations happen because we are looking for the hallmarks of a relationship (what we feel are the markings such as regular sex, stuff in common, being introduced, talking about the future etc) but we’re not looking for the landmarks of a relationship (the substance): When someone has limited access to their emotions and has limits to how much they will let you in, you cannot have genuine intimacy in your relationship.
If one or both of you are doing things to protect yourself from being vulnerable, are living in denial, are going round the houses communicating, and struggle to be truly honest and authentic, intimacy isn’t happening.
If you’ve been seeing one another once a week, suddenly spending the weekend together can be too much, too soon. Instead, have dates that gradually increase in length and frequency.
The same advice applies if you initially meet online.
To attract a potential partner, or pursue one, or hold onto one, you have to play games. Now you remember that dating is really a primordial quest for the magic of intimacy. For some mysterious reason, it will be the only date you’ll ever have. If you can find out what the secret is, it will change you forever.
If you’ve been dating to get a partner, you’ve been lying. When you got fooled into believing that the purpose of dating was to land a partner, you learned to date by a set of implicit rules. Maybe it’s in the way they inhabit their body, or in how they look at you.
Assessing a New Relationship Assessing an Established Relationship Evaluating a Committed Relationship Community Q&A Most relationships go through distinct stages, each one with different challenges and characteristics.