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Single dad dating again

Finding a way to co-parent with your ex is crucial, especially when you finally feel ready to start dating to again.

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Divorced for 11 years; has two sons, ages 11 and 13. Divorced three years ago; has four children, ages 16, 14, 12 and 9.Before I start on the lessons I learned about dating a single dad, let me give you a bit of history about me.In early 2011, after almost 10 years of marriage, I found myself divorced, single, in my mid-30s and (gasp!! For the first year and a half of my new “singleness” I shunned the thought of dating.What they never get to see is the reality of what my life is.They never get to see that even though it isn’t always roses and sunshine, I have good relationship with the mothers of my children.Boy, was I wrong, and what a smack into reality I received!

Here’s the deal, when you are a single woman in her mid-30s, with no children, pretty much every man you are going to meet, that is your age, and you want to date is going to have children.

That’s why I advise people to take time to heal and recuperate by following the “1/2 Rule”: Divide the length of your last relationship by two.

That is how long you should wait before dating someone again seriously.

Not to mention, you are both employed in some way or another and have a multitude of life, family and work commitments to work around. As your relationship grows you will become a priority, but when it’s new, you will be second fiddle to his kids.

It’s hard enough to date as an “adult”, but throw in someone else’s child or children and, whoa! While dating, I met and spent time with a few single dads and some single guys with no children. And, if you are OK with that, and understand his commitment, he will respect you and be willing to give more of his time to you.

Patrick Morris, 43, public relations director; Saratoga, NY. Q: What’s the most important thing for a woman to know when dating a single dad?