Talking dating first date
All right, so now you’re all set with a shiny dating profile that’s garnered lots of hits from potential hotties.You’ve winnowed through the pool and chosen your potential catch.
Not because you want to get married and have kids – he does, too! It’s for you to get a better sense of me and whether I’m a solid catch, it’s for me to determine if we’ve got some attraction and easy conversation – and it’s for both of us to determine whether there’s enough potential to meet for a second date. When you introduce concepts like marriage, kids, religion, politics, money – trying to ensure that the person across from you is a good long-term prospect, you essentially turn from a pleasant, fun, likeable person …into The Interrogator. Doesn’t matter if The Interrogator is smart, hot, and interesting. Is he going to call me tomorrow to say he wants to see me again? Early 40’s, bright, successful, and really excited about coaching and learning about the opposite sex. Is he in a place where he wants a long-term relationship?Here's what you should and should not do in order to get to date number two. Ask about hobbies and passions rather than taboo subjects like religion, politics, or money. It sounds contradictory to our last point, but don't try to be funny on the date. Many men feel it's traditional to pay for dinner, but if you're a progressive kinda gal, let him know you'd like to pay for date number two. If you really like him, you will probably do these things without thinking anyway.14. If you're interested in a second date, don't be shy. Say, "I had a really nice time and I'd like to see you again." Be fearless; like ripping off a Band-Aid, it's best to get it over with quickly. But if you feel that spark, it's likely that he does too. Keep a sense of humor about the awkwardness of first dates — he'll definitely sympathize! Wondering how to get to the second date with someone you met online? As most online daters know, it's not the first date that's hard to get — it's the second. When you're getting to know your date, don't be prepping your next thing to say while he's talking.
But if you're dating online because you want a relationship and not just a date, making a connection and getting that second date (and third and fourth) is the whole point. You may be tempted to make that first date a sleepover. To find out if there's a spark, you can't just talk about the weather. Ask him a question to get him to expand on what he just told you.
Joy Davidson, the stakes are generally higher for her.
“Remember that getting ready for a first ‘meet-up’ takes as much time and effort for a woman as a real first date,” Davidson explains.
Or sometimes we do just the opposite, displaying our insecurities by constantly apologizing for our shortcomings or complaining about our job or our family or other relationships.
And sometimes we just get nervous and try to fill any conversational dead space so it doesn’t appear that the date’s not going well.
I read a lot, but I always draw my own conclusions and judge whether it’s effective in the real world. Here’s a perfect example of advice that sounds good in theory, but doesn’t hold up in practice: Two prominent relationship experts – both 50-year-old women who haven’t dated in 20 years – advise women to tell men what they’re looking for on a first date.